(by good night, day)
Your Only Doll by Laura Marling
Back to my home
Back to my owner
Who screams at my tardiness
Put his hands to the sky
And says “What can I do
With a girl if she refuses to be mine?”
Anonymous asked: Just a thought sweetie, but could it be that these males have not persued the same research as you? I think that, while currently the bad greatly outweighs the good, there is some good. Frankly, there are lovely, pro-military people out there who just might agree that the research you have conducted is proof of cruelty. There are good, god-fearing men who are pro-military. Don't be afraid to have these difficult conversations with them. Be willing to love across barriers.
I believe it is extremely possible that that is the case. I was pro-military until I really started looking into things two years ago. I’m sorry if I ever gave off an impression that hinted that wasn’t a possibility. It is just that I have had conversations about military with MANY Christian men and it has always brought light to a very ugly, very cold, very violent and very racist part of them that they are able to flaunt because it is most commonly recognized as just very extreme patriotism. It is sad. It is so sad. I know some just may not realize. If I found someone I was truly interested in that had those opinions on war, I would no doubt bring it up and discuss it with them. If I found them to be very set in their ways or if they showed me so many other “strong Christian men” have shown me about their war views, I would not pursue or continue on in any kind of relationship with them.
This is not me being picky. While I am very interested and quite vocal about politics, politics are politics and not an end all in everything. However, I think war views are a different sort of issue. War views involve human beings. The way a person views what is and is not ethical in war and what actions are and are not forgivable and what you can and cannot get away with doing to a fellow human being says a lot about how loving or compassionate their heart is.
It makes me genuinely sad when people ask why I get so offended or hurt when a friend who develops feelings for me stops being my friend after I turn them down or when a man no longer has an interest in talking to me or knowing me when I turn them down. I understand the argument for them. They are hurt and they retreat. It makes sense. Except when you think about the wonderful people you know and you realize you are glad you know them and you know that if you thought someone was wonderful for real reasons, you wouldn’t just suddenly not care to know about their existence.
A man lists to you all of the reasons he loves you or pines for you or is interested in you or has affection for you. You swell up (whether you are interested in him or not) because it is just sweet to hear and you think it’s just kindness so you’re very grateful. But when you are honest and gentle and spend hours tenderly choosing which words to say so that you do not hurt them anymore and so that they get the response you once believed they really deserved, they say that you have toyed with them and teased them and that they cannot bear to be your friend. They realize you are not going to fulfill them in the way that they’d wished and that their pride being damaged when they found out you did not desire them romantically was more important than maintaining any communication with you, was more important than knowing you. From this response, you cannot help but surmise that they:
- Thought you were a pretty thing they could have…emphasis on THING
- They see you as their idea of what a woman should or should not be and what a woman can and cannot do and how a woman should or should not think about men and you may not escape this view because they can think of you however they wish and they likely always will. A man who sees a woman as a thing they can own or have can do anything they want to her because when you see a human being as an object, you have no reason not to treat them like one (this is how we come across physical, verbal and sexual assault, violence, pedophilia, murder, recklessness, rape, etc. etc.) You can own an object. You can manipulate an object. You can change an object. You can use an object. You can dispose of an object. It is just an object. As far as you know or believe or allow yourself to accept, IT does not feel or think or care or cry or deserve anything… it is just an it and it is yours.
- Frankly, do not give a damn if you are a person outside of being their significant other. Oh, you have thoughts and interests? I pretended they were important when I thought I could obtain you but we both know that most importantly, you are a woman, a sexual creature, an attractive thing. It consumes you. You are a woman and it does not matter what else you are. You are a woman. You are just a woman.
- You do not care about me if you cannot have me. Your interest in me was only because I am attractive. I was pretty, you saw me, you pursued me, I turned you down and I am now a tease because I was pretty and I did not let you have me. How dare I! I am a whore and you are my toy. I wore a skirt, I smiled, I was kind. How dare I!
I explained this to my good friend when he asked why I was so sad over these occurrences. He chuckled and said, “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds so awful..” And I guess it does.. but if you really think about it, there is no other way to put it.